The Long Ride

August 14, 2012 at 8:44 pm | Posted in Bun, Giggles, Lollipop, Me, Transylvania | 16 Comments
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Today.

Today, I crawled into the back of my Forester to rearrange two car seats and a booster, shoving buckles into latches and practically begging the auto gods for a minivan.

I wheeled one of those behemoth racecar grocery carts up and down aisles while looking for bread crumbs, forgetting the lemons in the produce section (twice), and holding my toddler down with one hand because the buckle was broken — why is the buckle always broken? — when he couldn’t resist reaching for the popcorn … and spaghetti … and club soda …

 

I unearthed my largest mixing bowl and filled it with water so that Barbie could swim.

I made five peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for three children, refilled milk cups four times, sliced bananas and then apples and then more apples, and dumped ostracized pretzels into the dog bowls. And that was just lunch time.

I peered out the kitchen window at the storm clouds above our oak tree and prayed they would open up. They did. I danced.

I found an exploded yogurt in the fridge and cleaned the goop left behind.

I fetched paper, markers, stickers, scissors, glue sticks, pipe cleaners, and that lime-green tractor stuck under the couch.

Today was part-tedium, part-familiarity, as those late-summer days of mothering often are. When favorite cartoons have become boooooooring. When all the rainbows and robots and kittens in rockets that can be drawn have been and are taped, nearly overlapping, to every kitchen cabinet. When shiny, new lunchboxes gleam from the pantry, waiting, their embossed aluminum lids a beacon of the school year’s imminent return.

And despite the air-conditioning, I walked around all day coated in sweat like a lightly greased baking dish.

I walked around. All day.

One year ago, I couldn’t walk at all.

I listened to doctors who didn’t speak English. I begged nurses who didn’t understand me for medicine, more medicine, please. I spent the first of a hundred long nights longing for sleep, for the ability to go to the bathroom by myself, for the muscles to turn my broken body from side to side and kick the covers off when I felt like it.

One year ago today, I couldn’t walk at all.

Now, I can feel the five pins that hold my tibia in place. Stairs still hurt. And there’s a high probability I’ll never run again.

But I can circle the kitchen on my own two strong feet, peeling off Hello Kitty stickers accidentally affixed to the tile. And I can celebrate each and every step.

What are you grateful for today? What anniversaries are you about to celebrate? And do you have stickers stuck to your floor?

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  1. I wish you were closer, our mini van is up for grabs once we leave :) I am grateful for the happiness I see in my children as we visit with their grandparents in my hometown, for the cooler temps here in Michigan, and the lack of a baking sun. Anniversary? None. We are just doing our own countdown until we leave. 2 months to go.— Sidenote- I cannot believe you started your adventure with a broken leg!!!!

  2. So happy that you can celebrate each and every step. A lot to be thankful for every day. :)

  3. Hi Stacia – I just love reading your posts. I am grateful that today is cool and wish fall would hurry up and get here. While it might not be today, but 2 years ago this week I found I was expecting my beautiful little boy, after having suffered a miscarriage. 2 years ago this week would have been when said baby would have been born so it was a nice surprise/miracle that I had some wonderful news to offset a sad day. Ugh, stickers. Why do they always fall off clothes and wind up either on the floor or the bottom of my shoes?! Hope you have a good day!

  4. And to think I rode a scooter along the Amalfi coast when I was preggers with O…had your story happened before mine, I would have a different story! Every time I read your blog, I try to imagine how it would feel coming back to an “old” life. Then I always go back to how strange (in a good way) it was bringing the kids hone from the hospital…it was the same house, but it wasn’t…that’s probably as close as I’ll get to feeling anything like you have in these past couple of months. We’re about to celebrate baby girl’s first birthday…I.just.cant.believe.it!

  5. Stickers are everywhere: floors, walls, doors, staircases, light switches.

    My wedding anniversary is less than a month away.

    I wish you continued healing and strength. Especially as these last days of summer wind down.

  6. Quite a year. All that tedium is precious isn’t it? So glad you have two good strong legs (even if they aren’t running legs).

  7. Wow! Cant believe its been a year already? You sure those stickers were accidently put on the tiles???? It’s a crazy life, but it’s your life….

  8. Stacia, I am so thankful you are walking again and can experience all of these wonderful parts of motherhood!!!

  9. Ouch! Just the thought of that terrible break hurts.

  10. On April 1st I broke my tibia on both side and fibia also. My ankle was completely detached from my leg which was broken also. I had complete bedrest April, May, June and July. I am now in PT learning to walk properly and so happy to have the worst behind me. They say it will take a year or more to get back perfect so that is what I am shooting for. I am anxious to be you in a year!!! It has been a challenge for sure…

  11. i get this. and i love this.

  12. I have stickers stuck to the inside of my dryer.

    I just got back from a week long road trip that involved lots of walking and hiking. My ankles ached and swelled and screamed at me from time to time. But I did it. And I’ve got 500+ photos to prove it. I’ll never run again either, but I’m okay with that. (now. mostly.) :)

  13. No running or treadmill for me ever, but I will be able to do other things instead. I never loved running all that much anyway!!!!! PT was awesome last week and I am moving onward this week!

  14. Wow, Stacia. I came back to your blog in large part to catch up (have spent most of the summer away from my computer), in no small part to seek comfort because I remember your story from last year and now I, too, have a broken tibia. I remember that dark winter for you in Romania…hard to believe it’s been a year already, though it was likely a long year for you in terms of returning to physical normalcy. I’m so sorry about the chance that you may never run again. But I’m sure you are grateful for being able to run after your children. As for me, I’m missing my kid right now. He’s off at his martial arts class which I usally accompany him at, but today I couldn’t deal with getting into the shower and I was slow to get work done, and so I’m home while his father takes over most if not all of my mothering duties. I miss being a mom. But I’m grateful that I’m here at all, that, hopefully, by October I can see my leg again and start the road to walking again.

    Will be going through your old posts this week for commiseration!!

  15. I have stickers stuck to many, many places in my house but none on the floors. Today I am grateful for a good job and three healthy children – as well as my own. I am grateful that my house sold and I bought another house down the road – slightly smaller but all my own.

    Glad you are doing well – love this post.

  16. Today, I’m grateful for friends like you who’re inspiring me to write again after a few weeks’ hiatus in the blogosphere. I’ve missed visiting you here!

    Hope to see you around these parts more now that we’re all trying to return to the new normal of the school year.

    Sheesh, where has the summer gone? Hope you had a good one adjusting back to your own normal. Hello Kitty stickers and all. :)


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