Haiku Friday

April 23, 2010 at 5:40 pm | Posted in Haiku Friday, Lollipop | 21 Comments

Haiku Friday: What I Meant to Say

Today, I listened
To the words I said to you.
I didn’t like them.

“No.” “Not that way.” “Stop.”
“That’s too messy.” “Don’t do that.”
“Just let me.” “Quit it.”

Your tiny shoulders
Never flagged. You kept your flounce.
Me? I felt the weight.

Please forget today.
I was not the mom I want
To be. Forgive me.

I will try harder.
I will listen to myself.
I will lift you up.

What I meant to say?
“You try so hard.” “I’m so proud.”
“Great job.” “I love you.”

Ever have one of these days? How do you stay mindful of what you “mean to say”? How do your children remind you that, as they’re learning, so are you?

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Haiku Friday

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21 Comments »

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  1. I am with you. It’s hard to encourage, smile and find the right words, when you’re tired and all you want to do is for them to stop adding to the mess, the dirty laundry, the dishes. Yet, they are just kids being kids.

    Finding the balance between the adult in us and the kid in them is not easy either; but when the two do meet in the middle, it’s really the greatest thing ever.

  2. You are an amazing mother…I am very proud of you!

    • Well, you kind of have to say that, Mom! (But thanks.) =>

  3. I have those days too. Days where the MESS just bugs me more than I wish it did, where I don’t have the patience I know I should…. those days are hard. I try to redeem myself by doing finger-painting or driveway chalk or something that normally makes me queasy the next day!

  4. Well said, and in Haiku form too! I love this multi-verse Haiku so much! The stand-alone verses always seem a little desolate – so much expressed and nowhere to go!

  5. Very sweet. What a nice story in haiku form. *Sigh.* I have those days too, when I’m just not the mom I want to be. I yell. I want my own space, or time to myself, or for Duckyboy to just be … different than he is.

    I always in the back of my mind think, What if this is the last interaction I ever have with him. Not that I don’t pray regularly that I will never be asked to suffer that trial, but I still think it.

    Db keeps me honest by asking, “Why?” when I say I’m proud of him or he’s special. I know I need to have specific reasons why that I can state — no empty praise here!

  6. I have these days too. I can’t tell you how many times I try to jump in and just do it because it will be faster. There is such a rush in todays world it’s hard to slow down sometimes and appreciate childhood for what it is, a giant lesson for life.
    I gave you an award!
    http://www.mommydrinksbecauseyoucry.com/?p=321

  7. You can’t really be blamed. Aren’t you about to pop?

    I like your poems….

  8. don’t you hate that? when you listen to yourself speak and dislike what you hear?

    at least they forgive us and we try harder, right?

  9. I have those days too… And although they feel so awful, I think that it is a gift when we can hear ourselves having them because then we can stop. Parenting is much harder than anyone let on. And more humbling. But you DEFINITELY are not alone.

  10. Oh Stacia what a beautifully written post and poem. We ALL have those days. When I have one I feel so awful but at the same time can’t stop sometimes. I feel since having my daughter that I have learnt so much about people and myself and yet still have so much to learn. Our children are born the way they are, nurture plays a part but nature rules and that has been a hard lesson for me to learn, but a good one too. When I have a bad minute/hour/day I make sure to sit down with my daughter when I have calmed down and tell her I am sorry, explain everything and let her know how much I love her and am proud of her. I console myself with the thought that it is perhaps not a bad thing for her to see that people are not perfect, we all make mistakes and that if we admit them and apologize then that is a good thing.

  11. I decided, this past week when we were on vacation, that I would try very hard not to have my knee-jerk “No” reaction when the kids asked for something out of the ordinary. Or that would mess up the “schedule.” I’d say I did okay…it was a lot harder then I thought.

    It made me very conscience of the fact that I need to loosen up a bit. No, I’m not going to let them do things that would be harmful – but does it really matter if we go to the park before the library? Not so much.

    It’s a constant learning curve, and I know you are doing a good job.

  12. Sometimes the knife slips right past the skin and slices you through your core. I know these sentiments and can only say, as I hope for myself, is that these are not the most enduring moments. We are more than our weakest moments so long as we keep striving to improve. hugs.

  13. This is beautiful. I have those days and I don’t even have kids. I have those days with my husband. My coworkers. My mom. So often I feel like everything would just be easier–more efficient–if I handled it myself. And how boring would that be.

    I so admire your way with the poetry here. It’s inspiring me to give it a shot. I’m more a limerick type though….

  14. Absolutely. You have got to watch yourself all the time, or you fall into the rut of only speaking reprimand. (not too crazy about tht language, neither are my babies…)

    Nice reminder. Thank you.

  15. This is so beautiful. Thank you so much for the reminder! I needed that.

  16. Were you hanging out at my house, taking notes on the decidedly un-Zen things I said to my kids? 🙂

    Thanks for this lovely haiku and for reminding me that we moms also have our terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.

  17. This so insightful, so beautiful! I absolutely love this post and will bookmark it for all the times that don’t like what is coming out of my mouth. Amazing reminder!

  18. Oh, I have been there way too many times. Wanting so badly to take my words back and finding myself apologizing to my daughter when I should be staying strong. But my patience gets the best of me so often… and it makes me so sad. But it’s true, they forgive us. They move on. And it’s because you’re such a loving mom that you’re even taking the time to realize how your words may have sounded.

    Beautifully written and even more beautiful thoughts.

  19. Oh, this makes me so sad. I’ve had these days for sure, and this was a great reminder to be very careful about how I speak to my son.

  20. Hi, I’ve been getting all the comments to your post via email, so I’m just coming back to say I hope what everyone has said makes you feel better. And how wonderful it is to see something so simple as a (very well written!) haiku invoke so many understanding, caring responses. *Hug*


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