Bath, Bed & Beyond

June 23, 2010 at 5:00 am | Posted in Lollipop | 26 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

50 Reasons Why I Can’t Go to Bed
By Lollipop

When the excuses run out ...

1. The light is too bright.
2. The light isn’t bright enough.
3. I need my blanket … No, not those five, the green one.
4. I’m hot.
5. I’m cold.
6. I need my princess dress … No, not those five, the mermaid one.
7. I need my pink shoes.
8. I can’t find Cinderella.
9. I’m thirsty.
10. I need a tissue.
11. My bunny needs a tissue.
12. I forgot to blow [insert family member’s name] a kiss.
13. My mosquito bite itches.
14. I have a cough.
15. I have to go potty.
16. The tag on my sleeping dress is scratchy.
17.  We’re out of fruit snacks.
18. I have to make sure my water doesn’t spill.
19. I need to know if the fairies came yet.
20. I have to do the laundry in my room.
21. I forgot to eat my dessert.
22. My princesses are having a tea party and being too loud.
23. I have the hiccups.
24. I’m reading my magazines.
25. I need some of the medicine with cherries in it.
26. I have a boo-boo.
27. I have another boo-boo.
28. My boo-boo still hurts.
29. I need a bowl in case I throw up.
30. My night-light fell out of the wall.
31. My drawer won’t close.
32. I’m not tired.
33. I’m too tired.
34. I need a dress from my closet.
35. My bunny needs a dress from my closet.
36. My fingernail is snagged.
37. I need to know where we’re going in the morning.
38. I’m singing to my babies.
39. I heard Giggles was awake.
40. There are ants on my rug.
41. I was getting you that green necklace from your jewelry box.
42. I was getting you those red shoes from your closet.
43. I have to get ready for the ball.
44. I was getting you a dress from your closet to wear to the ball.
45. I need to know what you’re doing.
46. I’m baking cookies.
47. I need my curtains open.
48. I need my curtains closed.
49. I found some trash.
50. I chose the wrong socks.

Why can’t your kids go to sleep? How do you counter sleep-stalling tactics? Did you choose the wrong socks today, too??



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  1. And here I was thinking once my Little Miss learns to speak, she can tell me exactly what’s bothering her and why she can’t sleep.

    You just showed me that this may be wishful thinking on my part. That there is no perfect solution in getting them to sleep.

    It’s a crap shoot until they’re 18, when once they’re off to college, we won’t have to care anymore if they chose the wrong socks.

  2. You know I totally relate!! Maxi-Taxi is the MASTER of sleep delaying tactics… my favourite is: “I heard a noise.” “What noise, oh sweet sleepless child”, I murmer lovingly. “A noise like this bleernegrh…” “That’s the sound of children not sleeping”, says I.

  3. I am at my wit’s end with my two. We have threatened to put them in separate rooms, and when I follow through, the tears that ensue kill me, and I put them back together. So, they are winning. But when it’s 10 p.m., and Dan is still at work, and I want to go to bed myself, I don’t know what else to do.

    As far as the tactics: I make it clear they are to stay in their room; the must be quiet and not stomp around like elephants; they may go into the bathroom to get a drink of water or go to the potty — they DO NOT need to come downstairs and ask me.

    Also: let them run around after dinner, outside. This usually means a much earlier bed time for my girls, I’ve noticed. (It’s not easy for me to do, because I’m not much for the running with them.) (And, yes, I know how you feel about the outside. Sorry.)

    • We’ve got the same rules, and some nights, I swear, she spends two hours in the bathroom “going potty.” Which really means washing her hands, playing with the soap, rearranging the towels, practicing brushing her teeth, etc. She’s going to have spotless bathrooms (and teeth) one day!

      As for the outside thing, I let them both run around in the yard while I sat on the screened porch with the baby the other day. And it actually worked pretty well. Perhaps our days of mommy-initiated outdoor activity are about to increase …

  4. We are trying to transition my four year old to her own room and her own bed. It has been so taxing. She sleeps for a few hours and then comes to our room at 3:00 a.m., asking if she can sleep in the middle. We have a queen bed, so ultimately Dad goes to her room to sleep, while she plops into my husband’s side of the bed. Her reason for coming in at 3:00, “I just wanted to cuddle with you Momma.”

  5. Excuse me, who sleeps with their shoes on?

    Now my kids are big. This summer especially I’m often going to bed before them. Can you even imagine doing that????

    • She sleeps with shoes on nearly every night. Strange, isn’t it? Although lately, she’s been saying her feet are too hot and taking them off. After she’s tried on seven pairs, of course. =>

  6. Rose: I’m already *done* sleeping.

    That is an awesome picture.

  7. Great pic! My daughter has used pretty much all of them, too. Her favourites are #25 (“needing” cherry-flavoured medicine) and “my blankets came off and I don’t know how to put them on right”.

    And I don’t think it will end any time soon. When I was young (about 9 or 10), my parents would get upset with me for getting out of bed so many times, so I started writing them notes and shooting them down the hall as paper airplanes! 🙂

  8. Oh my! Well your daughter certainly has a vivid imagination and a wonderful way with words! Love the picture too.

  9. My two all-time favorites from Big Boy were “I’m too old” (he’s 2) and “I have bad breath.”

    Neither of those issues keeps me up at night.

  10. Back when there were reasons, the reasons went like this: “I’m scared to go to sleep”. “There’s nothing to be scared of”. “I’m scared of monsters.” “There’s no such thing as monsters.” “Are there frogs?” “Yes, there are frogs.” “Then I’m afraid of frogs!”

    I feel for you. Now she just accuses me of not loving her if I don’t go tuck her in and kiss her good night properly.

    • Oh, the heartstrings! They do know how to tug on them, don’t they??

  11. Nothing worse than having the wrong socks on. We don’t have too many problems in the sleep department. My response to all those things would be ‘don’t care, go to sleep’. Makes me harsh I guess, but has created two boys who just go to bed. Having said that, a list of 50 is impressive!

    • We don’t really accommodate her stalling tactics, other than tell her to be quiet and settle down. And yet she still manages to generate two or three new one a day! I like to tell myself her vivid imagination is going to serve her well one day … if she ever catches up on her sleep!

  12. Wow! that is quite a list! Mine make excuses too, but I’m not sure about 50 different ones. They just use the same ones over and over again :).

  13. This list is just too cute. I was especially impressed that she wanted to do her laundry. If my kid said that, I might just let her stay up past bedtime and deliver!

    • It’s “faux laundry.” And it means dumping all the toys out of her toy baskets, putting in all the clothes from her drawers, and then switching them to the other basket to “dry.” And though it doesn’t contribute to reducing the household’s actual overall laundry load, it is apparently quite a blast.

  14. I have that exact same picture — just insert my son E. It’s like they fall asleep mid-play.

  15. Wow, she’s a creative little one. Now I just feel like my kids are just lazy with their excuses.

  16. We just get screams, tired tortured screams. Mama! MaMA! Thats my 5 yo by the way. Summer light makes it harder!

    Good luck!

  17. Yikes! I get no excuses from the 9 year old. The 3 year old MUST have pajamas on, all 3 monkeys, and an ice pack. That damn ice pack gets us every time. Just tonight I fished 3 warm ones out of her bed. Guess what wasn’t in the freezer? A single Bella-approved ice pack. She’s currently sleeping with her brother’s basketball ice pack. She was willing to do it only after 40 minutes of yelling and crying.

  18. Yes, you are right, we must NEVER get our girls together, or no one will ever sleep! I found your list very funny, but that’s only because it’s not the list I have to listen to each night. Spent a week at our family’s cottage this week, wedged in between my two on a bottom bunk bed, wrestling them both to sleep!

  19. giggle my most favourite one is ….. my bed is not comfortable! It is so uncomfortable I just cant sleep in it.

    And I am sure you must have heard this one but my leg/arm/toe/fill in the blank hurts (never mind she was just tumbling and prancing all over her bed )

  20. That sums it up!

    My son’s favorites these days:
    “Scary lady will come back.”
    “I want a night lingt” when there isn’t one on and of course
    “I don’t want a night light” when there is one on.

  21. I think Pixie has those sandals.

    Wonderboy is way more adept at the list making to avoid bedtime then Pix. We often end up in “threaten” mode with him. Which is lame.

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