Hot, Cross Buns

August 26, 2010 at 6:00 am | Posted in Giggles | 28 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

You know how I feel about McDonald’s.

Yet I found myself there this week, with kiddos and Purell in tow. We ate nuggets from chickens who had no doubt lived in a bad, bad neighborhood before they met their untimely end. We had chocolate milk with a dash of rBGH. And we rolled on the germ-laden floor pretending to be two dogs named Arf and Arfie.

Yo quiero Taco Bell indeed ...

Then Giggles had to pee. Lest he relieve himself in his shoe again, I whisked him away to the bathroom while a friend watched Lollipop and Bun. When we walked into the restroom — the “family-friendly” kind where you lock the door behind you — the automatic hand dryer was blowing.

Giggles freaked out. I tried to explain the noise. I tried to tell him it would go off by itself in a minute. I tried to use my soooooothing voice. Still, he freaked out.

I thought I’d distract him by getting to the business at hand. But while I was helping him onto the toilet seat, it sensed our movement and flushed itself.

Giggles freaked out. Again, I tried to explain the noise. I tried to tell him it would go off by itself in a minute. I tried to use my soooooothing voice. Still, he freaked out.

I asked if he wanted to pee in the sink instead. (Maybe you can sense my desperation.)

I hoisted him up. And as I tried to find a comfortable position for him on the edge, the water came on automatically and dripped down his back.

Giggles freaked out. You’re sensing a theme here.

He cried and begged to leave the bathroom. He said he wanted to “pee-pee at home! At home! At home!!

I cursed the automation age and carried him outside, where I hoped I could convince him to take a quick pee. But our endless days of brutal August heat had fried the grass. Giggles deemed it too crispy to squat on.

Just as I thought it was hopeless, just as I was gearing up for a shoe-pee, just as tablespoons of sweat burned my eyes, I spotted the answer. There, in the distance. Just a parking lot away.

We made a run for the border.

Taco Bell. Where they have paper towels in the bathroom. Where the toilets require you to flush them. Where the sinks have actual knobs. Or at least I prayed they would.

They did. We peed. We flushed. We Purelled our hands. For the 32nd time that day.

And as we walked back to the golden, trans-fatty arches (in dry shoes), I had a thought I’m fairly certain I believed I’d never have …

God bless Taco Bell.

They really do think outside the bun. Or, in our case, um, outside the buns.

Have you ever been thwarted by technology? Found a creative solution to a tough toddler situation? And which do you prefer, McDonald’s or Taco Bell??



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  1. * I’m going to ignore your suggestion that he pee in the sink *

    I’ve been exactly where you are with Maxi-Taxi. The dryers freak him out to the max (no pun intended). I bet there was a lot of desperate hand flapping and eye darting… get me out, get me out! Poor little fella. Imagine feeling that panicked and scared.

    Glad you found an out. I generally take the boy out and let him water the nearest garden. Which is probably right up there with weeing in the sink… oops, forgot to ignore it!


    • In my defense, I will say I had Lysol wipes and planned to use them, had the sink been, um, utilized in a nontraditional way. =>

  2. PS – Love your post title. Gold!

  3. You are making me laugh this morning! I will never forget Miss D.’s first encounter with a self-flushing airport toilet. She damn near jumped out of her skin. Don’t they know that those things terrify little guys?

  4. So sad, and yet so funny. Poor little guy freaking out by all the bathroom stuff. Awwww! Cute as heck, though.

  5. I was just at McD’s in the bathroom as well…actually wrote a post about it but then decided it might have just been a little too gross so I deleted. It is definitely a risky prospect stepping into those bathrooms!

  6. Too funny! Yes, those dryers are very loud, and the automatic toilets always freak Miss M out. I know desperate times call for desperate measures, but peeing in the sink? Ew. LOL! Good thing it was the kind of bathroom that you lock… I wouldn’t want to walk into the scene of you hoisting him up in front of the sink! 😀

    Anyway, this was a cute story. Love the pic of the Taco Bell dog. I rarely eat Taco Bell, but I actually had it just last night. Didn’t get to try out any bathrooms, though. It was in a mall food court.

  7. I’m not at this stage yet, but you’re scaring me! Can’t they pee in those little plastic toilets you can keep in your car? I thought I saw my cousin do this once with her kids. Oh diapers, how I love thee.

    • I had just taken our portable toilet out of the diaper bag (of course) because he had been doing so well in big, scary public bathrooms! Guess what’s back in the bag now??

  8. Automated bathrooms are the potty training kryptonite.

  9. Poor Giggles! We have the opposite problem. Bella wants to make the toilet flush, get the faucet to come on, press the button for the hand dryer, etc. I want to bathe her in Purell whenever she uses a public toilet. (And to make your stomach turn, I have to hold her hands while she sits or she’ll run them all over the toilet. So gross!)

  10. I still take a portable potty in the boot of the car, just in case of an incident like this one. I can’t quite believe you were using the sink 🙂

    As for McD’s thankfully my daughter likes neither burgers or fries – no surprises there as she likes very few foods still. If she did we’d be having endless altercations because I refuse to step inside one. Last time I went to one was in Paris, about fifteen years ago and it was terrible 🙂

  11. Taco Bell, baby. YUM. Their new tacos are awesome.

    Also, go into the bathroom first, cover the auto sensor with a napkin or your hand and then let him in. Trust me.

    • Excellent trick. I’m a technology lemming, I guess, and it never occurred to me you could, you know, thwart the all-knowing sensor. Excellent!

  12. I carry a portable potty around in my car just in case my girl deems the available bathroom unsuitable or tells me she has to pee half way home from the grocery store, after swearing she didn’t have to go while we were there. Also, like the poster above I use toilet paper to cover the automatic sensors on toilets. I learned the trick from a mom who carries post it notes around for that purpose but I’ll never be as organized as her and tp works just as well.

  13. Although I felt your angst here, I was laughing. Glad Taco Bell saved the day.
    When I was travelling in Europe, we were told by our tour guide to run to the golden M’s if you need to use the restroom – they are everywhere and you can use the restroom for free!

  14. Hilarious! My kids pee on our tires a lot. They’ve watered a lot of park land, and thanks to their dad’s profession, we usually have a bucket around for them (to poop in). It’s not always easy leaving home, but it was always a must for me!

  15. Those dang autoflushing toilets are an evil invention (well, for little kids). My daughter FREAKS when there is an auto toilet. I usually cover the sensor with my hand, but she still doesn’t trust them.

    Glad there was a Taco Bell nearby to save the day!

  16. “Lucky” for me only one of my kids is potty trained, and he can hold it in almost any unsavory situation.

    I don’t mind eating Taco Bell, but I won’t eat inside a Taco Bell because the one near me is not nice and also because the chain serves Pepsi. Ick.

    We haven’t had McDonalds in a few weeks, which has to be some kind of record for us.

  17. Fortunately, my kids don’t have that problem. Thanks to my husband, they’ll pee anywhere.

  18. Hilarious!!

    And how about those hand dryers that are SO POWERFUL that they actually, like… move your skin – do you know what I mean? Freaks Munchie out all the time.

  19. This totally cracked me up! Those automatic flush toilets that sound like a jet engine are tools of the devil!

  20. I got food poisoning from Taco Bell when I was in high school. To this day, I can’t get within 50 feet of the smell of a nacho bellgrande without bile rising in my throat. So, though I am not a huge fan of McDonald’s, I would pick their bathroom every day of the week.

    • I’m the same way about Subway. Got food poisoning nine years ago and haven’t eaten at one since. My stomach hates me for even typing this!

  21. I have the same issue with noise. Mr. B hates to pee in public, and his issue is more often the flushing. Some flushes are just too loud. It drives me crazy. It reminds me how diapers can be a hell of a lot easier, you know? Why this rush to potty train?

    (And I haven’t done any fast food places yet–other than the cafe-type ones, like Panera. But I can understand how you find yourself there. McDonald’s is just so damn kid friendly. Is that evil or good…or both?)

  22. How I laughed at this! Mr6 had an absolute phobia about automatic hand dryers when he was little. Auto flushing toilets would have been the end of him. Mr3 on the other hand loves it all – he would have wanted to put his head down there to see how it worked.

  23. My kids didn’t like the auto-flush features at first either. I used to carry around a pad of square sticky notes in my bag to put over the sensor. Voila – no more auto-flush. Napkins can work too as someone mentioned but the sticky notes don’t accidently fall off 1/2 way through.

  24. Oh, I feel for you…yes, I have been there too. My son at 6 still gets freaked out by the automatic toilets (though is getting better…there is hope!). What I’ve done is basically dance around the toilet since (I believe) it flushes when it senses stillness. Now my son will also “dance” while sitting on the toilet which makes it impossible for him to do his business. Ah – public toilets have to be one of the most stressful parts about motherhood!! (Memories of not knowing what to do with an infant when I had to go and the handicap toilets were not available…)

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