Wipeout

February 21, 2011 at 12:00 am | Posted in Giggles | 27 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

It’s bathtime. A little boy and a little girl put their clothes in the laundry basket as their father runs the bath water. Before they hop in the tub, they both decide they need to go potty.

The little girl claims the potty right near the tub. The little boy runs down the hall to the spare bathroom.

In the spare bathroom, the mother is giving the baby a bath. The little boy rushes in and sits on the potty. He poops. A lot. He asks his mother to wipe him, but she doesn’t want to take her eyes off the baby in the tub. So she advises the little boy to run back into the other bathroom, ask his father to wipe him, and then get in the tub with his sister.

He agrees happily and scampers off.

A few minutes later, as the mother is drying off the baby, she hears shrieks from the other room. Naked and dripping wet, the children come thundering down the hall toward her. They scream. They gallop. They giggle.

Their father follows. He is not screaming. Or galloping. Or giggling.

“Poop!” says the little boy.

“Poop in the tub!” says the little girl.

“Didn’t you wipe him?” says the father.

“I told him to tell you to wipe him!” says the mother.

The mother and father put the children to bed. The mother bleaches the bath toys. The father scours the tub.

Then the mother and father have a discussion about whether a three-year-old is a reliable messenger. They decide he is not. And they come to an agreement: If you witness the poop, you do the wiping.

Go on, laugh. Now tell me your best poop story.

27 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. A very sensible agreement!

    I’ve had a 2 year old actually poo in the tub… that was… interesting. x

  2. Oh wait, wait, wait. BEST poo story is when Max was in first throws of toilet training and he pooed on the top of the slide at the park. That was even more… interesting… x

  3. Am laughing. Mr4 sent up a submarine in the tub one day last year – he was only three then. Mr7 was extremely unimpressed. But the poo on top of the slide is the definite winner.

  4. Wise move.

    I’ve got lots of poop stories. One of which involves a 2 year old and every single stair in my house. Good times.

  5. Miss D. was often constipated, so she was the stealth pooper. Something about the warm bath water just got things “moving” for her so suddenly, I’d look in there and Houston, we’d have a floater. Ugh!

  6. Poop in the tub is a rite of passage for parents.

    Kate is quite a pooper. More than one family member has commented on the sheer size of her poop — an aunt, her pap-pap. She is not wiping her bum yet, and she can often be heard yelling for me at the top of her lungs. Which, when I’m feeding the baby, can be quite traumatic for all involved. I’m been trying to train Flora to wipe Kate’s bum for me, but she’s drawn the line. Getting Kate food or drink, okay; going to the bathroom with Kate when she pees, fine. Poop? nothing doing.

  7. Haha! Ah, poop. The magical bringer-togetherer of families๐Ÿ™‚

    My best poop story is here:http://thisheavenlylife.blogspot.com/2009/04/lysol-lysol-wherefore-art-thou-lysol.html

    Ahhhh, the good old days๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Tub poop. Yes. And explosive poop. When my first was itty bitty, she had the most amazing projectile poop. It flew feet. And splattered everywhere. Floors to mop, sheets to change, walls to scour. Oh, and I needed a whole new skin too.

    Here’s my grossest story (though, to be fair, my girls were NOT involved): as we looked through kids books at the library, we came to a sign — “You must take your children to the bathroom for diaper changes. Poop was found between the pages of a book. This is unsanitary.”. And may I add totally disgusting? Poor kid who found the poopy pages!

  9. The ol’ floater. So glad to be through with that stage! My favorite story is that my big kid did it to my nephew … and my nephew jumped straight up out of the water and was clinging to the bathroom wall. We had to convince him to step over and get cleaned up. He said he was traumatized. I still chuckle!

  10. yes! unfortunately.๐Ÿ˜‰ this was my worst: http://www.snailsandsnips.blogspot.com/2010/02/oh.html (From a year ago.) sounds like a good wiping plan.๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Today’s poop story: The child forgot to flush. The dog fished the poo out of the toilet and was joyfully tossing a turd in the air when he was discovered. It’s a glamorous life, isn’t it?

  12. I’m impressed the father scoured the tub! (In my house, that’s strictly the mom’s job.)

    My son pooped in the tub when he was a baby. Unfortunately he was taking a bath with his two cousins at the time.

    • He knows cleaning tubs saps every ounce of joy I have. So he cleans them. Even the pooped-in ones. Guess I’ll keep him! =>

  13. Just a week and a half ago we got our very first poop story! It was late afternoon and Doodle had a pooptastrophe. As we attempted to use an entire box of wipes to clean him up, we opted for a bath as we were due to bathe the kids that evening. Hubs ran the bath, plopped in Doodle while I called Gumdrop upstairs to join us. Hubs bathed the kids while I changed their crib sheets. A few minutes later, two naked babies came into their room. Hubs decided to get Gumdrop dressed first, so Doodle played while I finished changing sheets. I was just about done and looked over and there was POOP…all over the floor! I screamed “POOP!” and scooped him up and threw him back in the tub. He laughed as he had bath part deux and Hubs and I could do nothing but laugh at the entire situation. Hubs was amazing and cleaned up the poo.

  14. One really good poop story is when, inspired by the neighborhood dogs we later realized, my son pooped in the garage and then asked for a baggie to clean it up.

    Our main poop story is boring. Twice a week for many, many months, my oldest pooped in the tub. Code Brown = good times.

    Is that your t.p. basket in the photo? I can’t get over the resemblance to Cookie Monster.

  15. My best poop story is when my five year old decided he HAD to poop when we were in completely stalled traffic ON A BRIDGE during our vacation travels last year. Thank goodness for Ikea potties, plastic baggies, and garbage cans still out for trash day when we finally emerged from the traffic.
    I hate having to wipe while I’m holding a baby. Happens at least once a day.

  16. Oh, I’m smiling. No poop story ready to relay, but tell me something: Is this the breed of silly chaos I’m in for with three tiny creatures around here?๐Ÿ™‚

    • It’s always chaos of one kind or another … silly, crazy, mind-numbing, laughter-inducing, sleep-deprived, snotty, sweet, and every other adjective you can think of! =>

  17. Oh man, poop in the tub. Parenthood at it’s finest.

  18. Poop in the tub and a trail of poop on the carpet. Oh Joy.
    So glad the poops land in the toilet these days.

  19. Yes. I’m laughing. In solidarity. Thankfully I don’t have any stories quite like this, but I will never forget the day the 2 year old pooped in the tub for the first time. He was horrified! I was just entertained.

  20. Poop in the tub, poop in the tub, la la la la, poop in the tub…
    It’s a song, didn’t you know?

    I am hoping our poop in the tub days are completely over, at least until Dan and I are elderly and well, you know.

  21. My daughter pooped in the tub for the first time while she was bathing with me! If only I had read this post 7 years ago… No one had told me that would happen… There were floaties in my hair — lesson learned.

  22. Funny poop stories are the only good kind! Unfortunately, I don’t have any funny ones.๐Ÿ™‚

  23. Okay, first of all, thanks for getting me to tears! Too freakin’ funny. As for poop stories, when my oldest two were bathing together, there were repeated instances of pooping in the tub. A time or two intentional…no lie. My kids are gross.

  24. Such a funny story. My new mantra for my boys is, “I see bubbles and the bath is over.”

  25. I don’t think I can top that one๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s great b/c it became a husband-wife “thing.” I think we had a poop in the tub incident at some point. Mainly the ones I remember involve poop exploding all over my hands while I was wiping the first explosion, thinking we were done…To be honest, I am feeling nostalgic reading about this!! Those sweet baby days…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.