Me FirstApril 18, 2011 at 12:46 am | Posted in Bun, Giggles, Lollipop, Me | 17 Comments
Tags: Challenges, Children, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Parenting, Patience, Relationships, Responsibility, Values
Don’t touch that.
Don’t be so loud.
Why can’t you listen?
What are you doing?
Don’t make a mess.
Be still. Now!
Just. Stop. Fighting.
I’ve said them all. And a lot more. With irritation in my voice, with every ounce of patience exhausted. I’ve been mean. I’ve been angry. Not all the time and not every day. But enough. Enough to wonder about the impact of my words. Enough to worry that my frustration makes my children feel like they aren’t good enough. That perhaps they never will be.
I’m pretty sure we haven’t gotten that far yet. But I’m a mom. My mind is always leaping seven steps ahead to the absolute worst-case scenario, convinced we are on the precipice of some disaster or another.
And when I think about the one thing I want my children to know, it’s not how to play with one toy at a time. It’s not how to use their inside voice. And it’s not how to clean their plate.
It’s this: You are perfect. Just as you are. At this moment. At every moment.
I want to teach them to be good and honest. To be kind but strong. To rely on their mind but follow their heart. To wonder, to ask, to dream, to work hard. To accomplish with humility and fail with grace.
I want them to know that they won’t always make the right choice. They won’t always win. They will mistakes, big ones and small ones. But, even still, they are perfect. To me, they are perfect. The bright, tiny souls that inhabit their growing bodies and ever-independent brains are my lifeblood. They are loved without condition and with everything I’ve got.
I believe this. I feel this. I know this. I’ve got to make sure they do, too.
How do you take a step back from the daily grind and analyze your own parenting skills? How do you make changes that bring you closer to the parent you want to be? And does this post sound like that Pink song, only without the expletives?