Partners in Time

May 8, 2011 at 11:00 pm | Posted in Bun | 17 Comments
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It’s Mother’s Day. On this very day last year, my son was born. My third child. My 10-pounder. My baby.

What a year it’s been. He smiled.  He ate and grew. Then he didn’t. Then he did again. He rolled over, sat up, and pulled up. He discovered his hands, his toes, and his voice.

In so many ways, he is the typical youngest child. He is vocal. He demands to be heard because if he doesn’t, his requests will certainly be drowned out by the din of siblings hard at play, pets sniffing out abandoned Cheerio caches, and vacuum cleaners beating them to it.

He prefers to be held. And he prefers that it’s me who’s holding him. He eats if I coax bites into his mouth. If I don’t, he squishes and lobs them instead. He soothes himself to sleep. But he frequently lets me know that he would rather I do it for him.

He needs me. Just me. Only me. Or at least, he wants me to think he does.

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t dote on him. Just a teeny bit. I love to put my cheek against the soft, little hairs on the back of his head. I love to feel his chubby fingers grab onto my sleeve when I hold him. I love that I get to bathe him all by myself every single night.

But these moments are stolen ones. We’re co-conspirators, Bun and me, going about our ordinary days doing ordinary things and biding our time until we get to pause the world and everything in it, except for the two of us. It’s as if he knows this won’t last forever. And he wants to savor it as much as I do.

Out of necessity, I can’t afford many of these moments. There are grocery lists, beds, and casseroles to make. There are dishes, clothes, and small sets of arms and legs and ears to sunscreen. There are playdates and overseas moves to coordinate.

There’s not enough time. There’s never enough. But love? There’s plenty of love.

Do you remember Bun’s birth story? And my husband’s take on it? Do you have a birth story or birthday letter to share? Leave a link in the comments.

17 Comments »

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  1. Happy birthday to that sweet boy! I’m glad we got to see him eat his first cupcake.
    I will never forget what E did immediately after she was born. After the nurse placed her little crying self in my arms, I said to her, “Hi Baby,” and she slowly turned her head, stopped crying, and stared at me. So sweet, like she truly recognized my voice.

  2. Oh I DO remember the birth story and both posts about it. How I loved those. How I’ve missed being gone for so long.

    The third child–or maybe just the last child?–is an extraordinary thing. I understand “doting on the baby” now. I understand wanting to freeze time. I understand not having ENOUGH time to really love it and live it the way you want to…because you know it’ll end. It’ll end sooner than you can imagine.

    Sigh. This is lovely.

  3. Happy Birthday to your sweet boy. Savor these moments they go by so fast. I hope you had a great mother’s day🙂

  4. Happy Birthday Baby! I remember a pic of him with his sunglasses. So cute and adorable. Hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day.

  5. Wow, yes I do remember both of those beautiful birth stories! I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I read them! Happy Birthday, Bun!

  6. Happy birthday -to you both!

  7. Happy Birthday to the little Bun! I love how you wrote about putting your cheek against his soft hair, and savoring the feel of it. Enjoy those stolen moments with him, and good for you for remembering to appreciate the, despite the chaos of big changes to come!

  8. There’s not enough time. There’s never enough. But love? There’s plenty of love.

    Love that line.

  9. Beautiful tribute to your baby. Tear. But a happy one.

  10. 10 LBS? Happy Mother’s Day.

  11. My mom asked me yesterday morning if I had read your post yet, because she was pretty sure I had actually written it. And yes, this is pretty much how it is for me and L. We’re a tiny bit on the outs after last week, the one where he officially decided he will NOT take a bottle. (so thanks for linking back to that post about Bun not eating. It really comforted me.) But even that experience just makes me more feel more poignant about the non-babyness ahead of us. I really can’t stop kissing the top of his head, ever.

  12. Your post and E…’s comment both have me teared up. I’ve so enjoyed being at the same stage and on the same stage as you this past year with out littlest wonders. We got our walking Sweet P her first real shoes this past weekend. She looks like such a big girl in them and I’m starting to wonder where my baby went.

  13. Happy belated birthday Bun! And I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day this year. I remember your post and your husband’s post and most of what happened around that time last year because in spite of the labor, you still participated in Momalom’s Five for Ten.

    I remember being so amazed by you. When I try to think about taking some time off post birth, wondering if I’d even be able to think clearly, let alone write, remembering your valiant efforts then gave me hope.

    But then again, I’m not that ambitious either so we’ll see🙂

  14. What a beautiful way to remember your second mother’s day together! Happy Birthday little one!

  15. Yes! I feel the same way about my last little guy! It is so sweet and yet painful too . . . this precious amount of time when sometimes I want to stop the clock and ward off the future of grown-up children and in-laws and everything else.

  16. I don’t have 3. And as I’m graduating my first and (sometimes it seems) dragging myself across this finish line I’ve said, “I’m so thankful I only had 2.” It’s such a big job, this motherhood thing.

    I hope you are gentle with yourself while making those caseroles and packing for that move. Sitting down is so much more important than I ever realized.

  17. I’m glad you seem to be squeezing the beauty out of every moment.


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