Night LightOctober 3, 2011 at 10:07 am | Posted in Bun, Giggles, Lollipop, Transylvania | 12 Comments
Tags: Babies, Challenges, Children, Expats, Kids, Motherhood, Parenting, Relationships, Romania, Sleep
I lie down. I sit up. I rearrange my six pillows and two blankets. I tighten my brace and loosen it. I listen to the Golden Retriever next door and watch headlights shine right through the thin, beige curtain. I turn on the fan; I turn off the fan; I turn on the fan.
I just can’t sleep.
Bun exhales sweetly and shifts in his crib in the corner. He tucks his knees to his chest and sticks his diapered-and-jammied bottom in the air like a baby-powdered mushroom cap. I think of this afternoon, when he stalked Legos and made motorboat noises and stole crackers from my bowl. In my mind, I see him shaking his blond curls and lumbering off to drag a chair across the kitchen floor.
I remember Lollipop asking me what thirty-ten plus eight is and how babies and food can all fit in a tummy. Then she brought me her new doll and told me to make a wish in its tiny, plastic ear. When I said I wished for a hug, she was both surprised and pleased, leaning in so close that I noticed a magenta marker stain on her eyebrow.
I remember Giggles putting his shoes away after school, sand leaking from all four Velcro straps and both socks. He showed me his blue pencil case full of rocks and then reached into his jeans pocket to carefully extract three new ones, plus a stick and a dandelion. “The flower is for you,” he said, “because yellow is your favorite.”
In the dark, I think of them, all three of them, tucked into their beds with a bunny, a mouse, and a bear. Legs and arms and blankets splayed across cool sheets. Dreaming of swing sets and dessert. I sigh, smile, sigh, and adjust my six pillows and two blankets. I turn the fan off, then on again.
I don’t sleep.
But I have sweet dreams anyway.
How have your children made you smile today? What do you do when you can’t sleep? And what color marker stains have you found lately?