Mommy Mouths Off

December 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm | Posted in Giggles, Lollipop, Me, Transylvania | 16 Comments
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Mr. Grumpy

I just got out of timeout.

Me, the mommy. In timeout.

It’s just, well, I’d had it. My children refused to clean up their bajillion toys. Again.

They whined. They screeched. They stomped.

So I did, too. I also badgered. Belittled. Said unkind things.

Why can’t you … ? How many times … ? When will you … ?

I’m sure you can fill in those blanks.

I forgot that I’m the one with patience. That I’m the one who teaches them gratefulness and responsibility and manners. That I’m their example.

After, we read stories about Mr. Gronkle and Lowly Worm. We sang You Are My Sunshine and layered the blankets in just the right order. We talked about what had happened.

I sat on the edge of their bed and told them I was sorry and I was going to sit in timeout. Because I had been mean and impatient. And that’s not how we behave in this house.

It’s over now. Their room is clean.

But my conscience isn’t.

Have you ever thrown a parent tantrum? Ever put yourself in timeout? Ever wished you could take back your own words?

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16 Comments »

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  1. Unfortunately, I’ve done this more times than I can count; you are NOT alone, Stacia. Being the mom of three little ones is trying, and some days it’s just more than you can take. I have a clear memory of throwing a baby gate down the hall just because Isabel couldn’t find her shoes as the bus was coming down the street. That was the last thing on her mind before leaving for school, and I felt guilty ALL DAY long. By the time she got home, I was a wreck, and she had forgotten the whole thing.

    Every mom needs a timeout once in a while. Don’t beat yourself up too much, sweetie. Your babies will forgive you, and they probably won’t even remember this tomorrow.

    • I’m so relieved to hear I’m not alone. The guilt is almost crushing!

  2. Heather is full of wisdom. Oh Stacia, I’ve been there. While I don’t think it’s okay to yell, I have to remember that not only are we modeling patience, but also the ability to say sorry, the ability to calm ourselves down after a fit, and that sometimes anger pops up in a place full of love.

    • “anger pops up in a place full of love.” YES, THIS.

  3. Children need to know even grown-ups make mistakes, and learn the proper way to handle those mistakes. Yes, children do seem able to forgive and forget, if it isn’t a behavior they see played out every day. Otherwise, it becomes a learned behavior for them. They have to know you love them unconditionally, and love covers a multitude of wrongs.

  4. Oh, I have *flipped* on my children. It’s not a proud moment. However, it gives all of us an idea of just how far mommy can be pushed before she snaps (it’s really quite far, really). It also shows our children that we are people, too, with feelings, and that we make mistakes for which we have to apologize. **hugs** and hang in there.

  5. We’ve had about the same kind of day.

  6. OF COURSE I have! We are only human and children are so bloody annoying so much of the time. Leave that conscience clear, Stacia. I think it does them good to know that Mummy’s have feelings too and frankly they are not particuarly feeling like picking up after their children day after day after day. You are right, we are there to teach them responsibility, patience and kindness… and the fact that the world does not in fact revolve around them! x

    • All caps OF COURSE. You and your no-nonsense outlook always make my day, Maxabella! =>

  7. Sometimes, mom’s have to have tantrums….just like our kids do. It releases a little bit of negative energy. The key is to do as you did, and harness that energy when you are done, to teach and to love.

    And sometimes, time-outs are important for the whole family.

  8. O. totally called me out over the weekend for talking to him snottily and with sarcasm when he was getting on my last nerve. “How come you’re allowed to talk like that, and I’m not?” I wanted to retort “Because I’m the mommy, that’s why!” But of course that’s not true. I don’t get to talk like that without consequences. And I have been known to throw a tantrum or two. Sometimes, it IS what’s needed to get their attention. Just as sometimes it’s what they feel like they need to do to get mine. It’s rough, exhausting, and I think when we’re loving even amidst this kind of thing, as you so clearly are, they get that, too.

  9. Oh my friend, you can’t possibly be alone in this. I, for one, have had many of these moments that I wish I could take back. It jolts me back to sanity when I hear my daughter ask in a small voice, “Mommy why are you upset?”, reminding myself that there are better ways to handle certain things. But then again, we’re only human…

  10. “Have you ever thrown a parent tantrum? Ever put yourself in timeout? Ever wished you could take back your own words?” Yes, yes, and yes. We’re all doing and loving the best we can. For better or worse, we’re only human!

  11. I was hurt (possibly with a hernia) one evening and Li’l D was wriggling around, screaming and headbutting me like mad. I gave him a warning and said he’d get a spanking if he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop and I gave him a rap on the behind. It wasn’t a huge act, but it was something I meant never to do and it was born of frustration. I wish I’d thought to give myself a time-out then.

    I do mean to use it as a reminder of what not to do again.

  12. The other day I put myself in timeout by sending my kids upstairs to leave me alone. I had had it!!!

  13. Stacia, almost daily I have to remind myself: you are the PARENT not the 4-year old.


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