Deuces

January 9, 2012 at 11:25 am | Posted in Family, Me, Transylvania | 19 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Two. It’s one number. With three letters. And the most important word of 2011 for me.

Here’s why.

Two Lives
I’m living two lives. One is here, in Romania, filled with things like walking to the brutărie, drying towels on the radiator, and spending Saturday mornings at the pirate-ship playground. In this life, we indulge in îngheţată and Orange Fanta. And pleasantries like mulţumesc, cu plăcere, and bună dimineaţa roll off our tongues, at last, with ease.

The other is there, in the States, filled with things like dear friends struggling to have a baby, property taxes due, and fresh tortillas any day of the week. We schedule midnight calls with our vet’s office and do Internet searches for “canine hypercalcemia” and “parathyroid tumor” while people shop at Target and routinely obey stop signs.

Two Legs
Here, in this life, I spent a quarter of the year on one leg. While my fractured tibia healed, I sat on the couch and watched dump trucks, taxis, horses, and the city soccer captain’s Porsche drive by. A nanny cared for the baby I couldn’t hold, feed, change, or tuck in.

In November, I tentatively put weight on my newly repaired leg. I steeled myself for that awful feeling of my body collapsing like a useless lawn chair, just as it had on a dusty Tuscan road back in August. It didn’t. It held.

Just like me.

Two People
And just like my marriage. Night after night, I unleashed a day’s worth of frustrated, angry tears on my husband after the children had finally gone to bed. Twice a week, he hauled in six bags of groceries after putting in 10 hours at the office and 2 as chef, bubble-bath-giver, story-reader, and blanket-tucker. Then he helped me into the bath and into my pajamas and into bed, just as if I were a fourth child. Too many nights, I played the part by being petulant and pouty.

But we’re through it. We’ve regained our equilibrium. We held.

Two Hours
Without the ability to wash laundry, prepare grilled cheeses, and mop parquet floors, I suddenly found myself with time. Two hours with Lollipop to shake sprinkles onto sugar cookies with abandon. Two hours with Giggles to glue-stick sparkly confetti onto paper plates. Two hours with Bun to put together and take apart and put together and take apart Legos.

Not long ago, I would have considered this time wasted. Wasted. When there were dishwashers to empty, couches to clean under, and photos to sort. There still are, of course. There always will be. But none of that seems quite as important, now that my children invite me to tea parties and kitchen-table art classes and pretend grocery stores, now that I say yes.

Two Years
This week, I celebrate two years of blogging. It’s a pale yellow post-it tacked haphazardly on the pages and pages I’ve lived over the last 12 months. Four months preparing to move overseas. Seven months in Romania. Three months with a broken leg. Five months of physical therapy. (With more to come.)

Oh, and 341 blog posts to date.

I’ve held.

I’ve written my way through many of motherhood’s challenges. I’ve embraced the chaos, noise, and discarded sandwich crusts that come with three children. I’ve sifted through all the rocks, crumpled-paper bits, and walnut shells in tiny pairs of blue jeans and found the silver lining.

I’ve said yes. Yes. To all of it.

What number defined your 2011? Do you mark anniversaries, or do they sneak up on you? And how long have you been blogging?

+++

Fluffy Bunnies in Romania:
Read the tales
.
See the photos.

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19 Comments »

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  1. When my family was in Spain one of our crystal clear memories was the little girl who raced into the place we were staying shouting to her mum, “They’ve got FANTA!” and it was obviously glory-be.

    From then on we’ve noticed Fanta everywhere we go.

    Travel always surprises me. I get out of it not what I went looking for, but something so sweet and something I was hungry for I never knew I needed to put on my list. I’m so glad you found this delicious YES for your life. The permission to engage in the very life you have? Nothing better.

  2. I feel like I’ve been reading your blog for longer than two years! You write so well, it’s so easy to feel like I “know” you 😉 I LOVE this post!

    I’ve been blogging since 2007, so about 4 1/2 years. I, too, started as a way to capture the quickly passing moments that come and go as a mother to three babies. I grew to love my blogging community, and even met several of the women in real life, with amazing results. Such a great way to connect to people that you would never probably meet otherwise.

    I hope 2012 is filled with nothing but good for you and your family, at least no broken bones or surgeries in a foreign land.

  3. Sounds like 2 is a wonderful number.

  4. Congrats on two years of writing this great blog. Wow, how time has flown by. Nice honest tribute to your wonderful hubby for his patience with you. Have you considered surprising him with a special treat for him, now that you’re back on the go? Best of luck with the administrative aspects on keeping up with life in the U.S… 🙂

  5. I’ve been blogging since February, almost a year. We never know what we’ll find when we slow down a bit, and observe life around us.

  6. Stacia – Congratulations!! I LOVED this post. There is so much joy, honesty and pride in this one post, it’s wonderful. I loved “We held” and later, “I held” – Yes to all of it indeed. So, so happy for you.

    I am both glad and grateful your blogging brought us together. Thanks to the little button called “publish”, we are now friends. Even when you’re in Romania 🙂

  7. Stacia~ I love your posts. They are always so intimate and personal, and always put a smile on my face no matter what debacles you have faced. Your posts often bring back wonderful childhood memories, as well. When you share your stories I think of all the adventures we had as kids. 🙂 I have only been blogging for 6 weeks (and 7 posts to be exact!) but it is quickly becoming a routine activity in my life (www.citygirlincamo.wordpress.com). Blogging is a wonderful way to keep in touch with family and friends, and is a great opportunity to make new friends.

    Good tidings, and Happy New Year~ Michelle

  8. Beautiful post Stacia. Thoughtful and deep and true, a great expression of you.

    I’m so glad you held, alone and together.

  9. You are one of the strongest people I know. I am so glad you are on the better end of it and soon you’ll be coming home, a good thing, right? 🙂 I hope you all are doing well. Tell Josh he’s awesome for hanging in there too.

  10. Such a beautiful post. It always amazes me how something that can be so negative can be turned around to see the positive — such as the time that you needed to heal which also was a perfect opportunity to spend time with your kiddies.
    Nice.
    Wishing you all the best for 2012
    What number in answer to your question represents 2011 to me? I guess 4. In 2011 it really struck me that I had 4 children LOL

  11. Great post and congrats on your blog’s anniversary. As for my number for 2011 – I’d have to depressingly report ONE. As in, alone. But, to flip it – maybe my 2012 number will be ONE also. This year though will be filled with me learning to be alone and enjoy it – and spend time on myself which is a really odd concept considering I’ve been a mother for over 16 years. I’ve never put myself first. Should be interesting…

  12. Happy 2nd Blogoversary! So glad our paths intersected in the blogosphere. Here’s to many many more.

  13. stacia, you are awesome! love your post…and i know i would enjoy traveling with you.

  14. Happy Blogiversary Stacia! I like to celebrate any and all anniversaries no matter their significance. I am so happy I met you when I did and found your blog. It’s so refreshing to read as I myself struggle to start a family in a world where my acquaintances and friends are complaining about their children and daily challenges. Thank you.

  15. Love you, your writing, this blog. Your deck seems stacked with twos these days, but I am here to tell you that you are for sure an ACE!!! I would so love it if we could meet in the real world once you return to the US.

    • You’re making me tear up, you! And yes. Yes, yes, yes. Let’s figure out a way to meet in the real world. RWoP convention, anyone?

  16. You are a brave, brave soul… Road trip? Whatever works! (Love the felt tree.) And congrats on two years!

    🙂

  17. Stacia – so many gifts; I love what you have to say here, today especially, but always. Brave and honest and funny and appreciative, that’s how I see you.

  18. Congrats on two years! I hope Rocky heals well and recovers fully. And I’m happy you found the silver lining with your broken leg, as difficult as I’m sure it was. Part of why I haven’t been blogging or reading blogs is because it was taking too much of my time. But I have missed your story. I will try to check in more often as I fell a little more in control and available. Congrats! I am so glad you are here. 🙂


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