Bag Lady

May 6, 2013 at 4:46 pm | Posted in Family, Me | 18 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I got a new bag. It’s big. It’s cute. And it was on sale!

It’s the kind of bag that looks like it might hold exciting things like designer lip gloss, breath mints in a fancy silver tin, an iPad, or a chic planner with entries like “Mani/Pedi” and “Drinks with J.”

But no. Not my bag. While stylish on the outside, inside it’s all business. Okay, it’s mostly business with a smidgen of chaos. Because my bag is a mom bag.

Here’s an inventory:

  • 1 cloth sunglasses case with green marker stain (and, surprise, the sunglasses are actually inside!)
  • 1 brown paper bag snagged from restaurant in case my sick child needs to puke in the car
  • Girl’s size 6X red sweater
  • Craft store flyer and coupon (Bonus: coupon not expired)
  • Receipt from recent merchandise return stapled to original receipt stapled to temporary store membership card because real membership card is … not in bag
  • Wallet (whose contents include a Romanian bus ticket, the Clean 15 list, a dental floss coupon, and a heaven-sent Starbucks gift card)
  • 2 bottles hand sanitizer
  • Tissues (unused, I think)
  • Shout wipes (unused, I think)
  • Fancy bottle of sunscreen from infamous weekend in Florence
  • 3 tubes chapstick (Carmex, Blistex, and cherry-flavored)
  • 1 large package baby wipes
  • 1 pair 3T Thomas the Tank Engine undies
  • 1 pair 3T Batman undies
  • 1 set of instructions for a “Kids Herb Planter”
  • 3 packages fruit snacks
  • 1 empty fruit snack wrapper
  • 3 pieces Super Bubble gum
  • 1 rubber duckie
  • 2 reusable grocery bags
  • Keys
  • More keys
  • Orange emergency whistle
  • 3 Wendy’s coupons that expire tomorrow
  • 1 “Best Smiles Dental” pen
  • 1 rusted penny from the playground
  • 1 rusted washer from the playground
  • 1 cell phone, 14 Words with Friends games in progress, 20% of battery remaining
  • 1 Sleeping Beauty cell phone with 3 dead AG13 batteries (Note to self: find and purchase AG13 batteries)
  • 1 library book (Bonus: not overdue)
  • 1 Sheriff Woody toy hat
  • 1 green bouncy ball
  • 1 Blue Bell ice cream lid

What’s in your bag? A puke bag? Thomas undies? Expired coupons? Rusted washers? And what else??

18 Comments »

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  1. You asked on a good day because I just brought my little purse to work today.

    My keys.
    More keys – so *that’s* where the spare house key went!
    A pen.
    Tinted lipgloss.
    A quarter.
    A ripped-in-half ticket from Amara’s choir concert.
    The corner of a ripped open Skittles bag (that my mom gave Amara after her choir concert.)
    Last week’s grocery list.
    3 anti-acid pills
    A very old Hershey’s kiss, which has obviously melted and solidified many times (now in garbage.)
    My wallet. Which has 75 cents in it grand total.

    • Confession? I probably would have eaten the Hershey kiss anyway.🙂

      On Mon, May 6, 2013 at 9:24 AM, Fluffy Bunnies

  2. That bag does not look big enough for all that stuff.

    Half my purse is spead out on my desk as my phone is charging and I had to take the skein of yarn w/ crochetting and skein of yarn w/ knitting out to find the wallet.

    What is left is mascara, lip liner, eye liner, cream eyeshadow, and lip gloss w/ a bottle of foundation, three containers of floss and one mini tube of tooth paste but the tooth brush is missing. A camera and camera usb cable. A Kindle cord. Check book, nail files, pencils and pens, several empty cough drop wrappers, several packets of splenda, random change and recepts, several tubes of chapstick. Tissues, medication, bags of tea, mini lotions, assorted notes, and the flyer from a memorial for a freind that passed.

    • That’s a lot of dental floss! That’s one thing I don’t carry but probably should. And I wish I knitted … I would love to be able to pull out a skein of yarn. And use the word “skein” more often.

      PS: I’m sorry to hear about your friend.

      On Mon, May 6, 2013 at 9:59 AM, Fluffy Bunnies

  3. You asked AND I’m procrastinating…

    1 iPhone wall plug
    A bundle of keys
    Blackberry (for work)
    iPhone 4s (for personal)
    2 Tootsie Roll pops
    1 pack of Kleenex
    Hairbrush (that wasn’t necessary until my hair got longer)
    1 large claw hair clip (again, wasn’t necessary before)
    2 prescription meds
    1 bottle of Allegra
    1 bottle of allergy eye drops
    1 half-used pack of Mucinex-DM
    1 pack of DayQuil (looks like I’m a portable pharmacy)
    2 5-Hour Energy bottles (unopened)
    1 tube of Advil
    A College Board ink pen
    2 half-emptied packs of Orbit gum (to clean up my dirty mouth)
    My half-charged iPod and earbuds
    A dental appointment reminder card
    1 tube of Bert’s Bees lip balm
    1 tube of tinted lip gloss
    Walgreens receipt from the purchase of said portable pharmacy items
    Coupons for Kohl’s, the Melting Pot, and Payless Shoes
    My property tax appraisal notice

    And my wallet that has cards, checkbook, receipts and other items shoved inside.

    That was fun!!

    • Love! And, um, not that I need another caffeine vice, but how effective are those energy drink things?

  4. Stacia, your purse & contents reminds me of Marry Poppins🙂 I could just imagine you reaching down deep in your bag & pulling out all kinds of wonderful things! I apparently carry to much lip gloss as I’ve had the TSA agents point that out to me.

    • That’s so funny … As I was writing this, I kept thinking about how similar it seemed to Mary Poppins! Except I don’t think I could fit a hat rack in there. Then again, it is a big bag …

      And is there really such a thing as too much lip gloss??

  5. Oh my! Is said bag the one in the photo, because it doesn’t look THAT big. The common denominator in all of my purses is Goldfish crumbs, I think. And DumDum wrappers.

    • It is the same bag. I guess fuchsia is a slimming color for a purse.🙂

      And Goldfish crumbs, oh, yes, the Goldfish crumbs!

  6. Wow. You’ll be ready for any emergency!

    My bag — so basic. I never have what I need, but since you asked:

    1 owl wallet
    1 chapstick
    1 tinted lip gloss
    1 burt’s bees tin of lip gloss
    1 epi-pen
    1 toothbrush (mine)
    1 mini toothpaste
    2 containers of floss
    1 container of tylenol (generic)
    1 pen
    various receipts
    2 coupons for grocery store membership points
    1 emery board
    1 tweezers
    1 package pumpkin seeds
    1 tube hand cream
    1 8 gig flash drive
    1 loonie

    I expected lint.

  7. Are you kidding me? ALL of that??
    🙂

  8. WOW! You carry a LOT with you. I carry a tiny purse…or sometimes no purse.🙂

  9. This post (and the comments) gave me a much-needed laugh today!

  10. Wow, Stacia. I am impressed. My bag contents: wallet, keys, checkbook, lipstick, and iphone. That is it. I feel like an underachiever after seeing the contents of all of the other bags. (jk)😉

    • Rudri, I think the contents of your bag are the sign of a real achiever. It is right now my life goal to work toward a bag with just a wallet, keys, checkbook, lipstick and iPhone!

      Cecilia

  11. I love this post. Sadly, the contents of my bag include things like straws, plastic utensils, crushed oyster crackers and fortune cookies, melted candy drops (candy that my son will take from restaurants but which I will keep so he won’t eat), and ketchup packets (bonus if they are not ripped open). I am impressed at how sanitary your bag appears to be.

    Cecilia

    • Well, I just dug through mine looking for my cell phone, and I came up with an empty plastic six-pack ring that I meant to recycle instead. Oops.


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